A Priest waiting at Heaven's Gate

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A Priest dies & is waiting in line at Heaven's Gate.

Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans.

God to the guy :
'' Who Are You....???? ''

Guy :
'' I am Thrissur-Guruvayur Express Bus driver.....!!!! ''

God : Take this Gold robe & enter kingdom of heaven.

God to the Priest : Who Are You.....???? ''

Priest : I am a priest & spent 40yrs preaching good to people.

God :
'' Take this cotton Robe and enter heaven......!!!! ''

Priest :
'' God, how come that foul mouthed, rash driver gets a Gold &
I spent all my life preaching Good, get Cotton......!!!!! ''

God :
'' Results, my son, Results......

While you Preached,
People Slept,
When he drove,
People Really Prayed.......'' 😆

☝“ It's Performance, Not Position That Counts.....!!!!!! ”

A Mallu woman went for a job interview

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A Mallu woman went for a job interview for the post of a Secretary..
The Manager saw the woman's colorful clothes, gold jewellery, extra coconut oiled hair, & his mind was screaming:
Nevertheless he had to interview her.
So told her,
If u make a sentence using all the words that i give u, then maybe i giv u a chance at the job.
The words are:

The enthusiastic Mallu sat staring at the ceiling thinking for a while..

She then let out a dorky laugh and said,

"I hear the phone ring, GREEN GREEN GREEN, then i go PINK up the phone,
I say YELLOW...
BLUE's that??
Sorry WHITE did u say? Aiyyo...
Wrong Number!!
Dont simbly PURPLELY disturb people & dont call me BLACK next time WOKAY !!... Thank you"
Manager fainted!!!!

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher

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Finally a blonde joke I haven't heard before:

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 - 18 year olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running
around having fun, kicking a football.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
' Are you ok?' she asks.
'Yes,' he replies.
'You can go and play with the other kids, you know,' she says.
'It's best I stay here,' he says.
'Why's that, sweetie?' asks the blonde..
The boy looks at her incredulously and says: "Because I'm the goal keeper !!!"