A bloke sits down at the bar in Texas

A bloke sits down at the bar in Texas and says to the barman,
"Hey I've got a great blonde joke for you"

Upon hearing this a blond woman from a nearby table gets up and walks over and says,
"Listen 'Pal' "
"I teach self defense at the local sports centre"
"My 2 friends over there are both also blonde"
"One is an instructer at the local Army Base"
"The other recently came third in the Stongest woman in the world competition"
"Do you still really want to tell that blonde joke?"

The bloke turns around and says,
"Hell no"
"Not if I've got to explain it 3 times..."

A blonde and a lawyer

A blonde and a lawyer

Joke: Turning a Nice Profit in air; Looks relevant today, Isn't it?

A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a plane.
The lawyer asks the blonde if she wants to play a game,
"All you have to do is ask a question and if I get it wrong or don't know,
I'll give you five dollars, then I ask you a question and
if you get it wrong you pay me five dollars."

Like
"No," she says. "I just want to sleep."

He keeps asking and she finally gives in when he says he will pay her 500 dollars,
but she still only has to pay five dollars.

"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" he asks.
She gives him 5 dollars.

"What goes up the hill with four legs and comes down with five?" she asks.

He pulls out his laptop and searches it, but finds nothing.
Then he emails his friends.
After an hour, he still hasn't got an answer, he hands her 500 dollars.

Then he asks her: "So what is the answer?"

She hands him 5 dollars.
Blonde was from Gujarat, you see!

Blonde got a job with the Public Works

A blonde got a job with the Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed.

The blonde agreed to the conditions and starts right away. The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found the blonde had completed 4 miles on her first day, double the average!!

"Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished 2 miles.

The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

The third day the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought," I need to talk to her before this gets any worse."

The boss pulled the new employee in and says, "You were doing so great. The first day you did 4 miles, second day 2 miles, yesterday you only did one mile. Is there some problem keeping you from meeting the 2 mile minimum?"

The blonde replied, "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the paint bucket."

Password audit by a company

Password audit by a company

During a recent password audit by a company, it was
found that a Blonde employee was using
the following password...
MickeyMinniePlutoHeuyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento
When asked why she had such a long password, the Blonde rolled her eyes and said..
"Hello! It has to be a least 8 characters and
include at least one capital."

Three women go to Mexico

Three women go to Mexico to celebrate their college graduation.

They get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to discover that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says: "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.."

They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Illinois School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says: "Well, I'm from Ohio and just graduated from Ohio State University with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher

Finally a blonde joke I haven't heard before:

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 - 18 year olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running
around having fun, kicking a football.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
' Are you ok?' she asks.
'Yes,' he replies.
'You can go and play with the other kids, you know,' she says.
'It's best I stay here,' he says.
'Why's that, sweetie?' asks the blonde..
The boy looks at her incredulously and says: "Because I'm the goal keeper !!!"