Showing posts with label Bollywood Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bollywood Jokes. Show all posts

Celebrity Marriages

When we were young, beautiful actresses like Sridevi were marrying old guys like Bonny Kapoor ๐Ÿ™„

Now when we are growing old, beautiful actresses like Priyanka Chopra are marrying young men like Nick Jonas ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Saala samajh nahi aa raha galti kahan ho gayi‼๐Ÿ™ˆ

How many apples can you eat ?

Varun: - How many apples can you eat
on an empty stomach...???
Aliya: - I can eat 6 apples.
Varun - Wrong, you can eat only 1 apple
on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple
that’s not an empty stomach...!
Aliya: - Wow superb joke, I’ll tell my friend...

Aliya to Shraddha: - How many apples you can eat on
an empty stomach...???
Shraddha: - I can eat 10.
Aliya: - Pagal, 6 bolti to mast joke sunati...๐Ÿ˜‚

This is only for Information. Dont try at Home.

Yesterday went to see Padmaavat and following thoughts came to mind... ๐Ÿคจ
.
Kaikeyi was the 3rd wife_ of King Dasaratha, he loved her a lot..
.
Mastani was the 2nd wife_ of Bajirao, he loved her a lot..
.
Padmavathi was the 2nd wife of Rawal Ratan Singh, his true love and partner
.
Mumtaz was the 8th wife_ of Shah Jahan, u know he loved her so much that he built Taj Mahal for her...
.
Jodha was the 3rd wife_ of Akbar, his love for her is still discussed...
.
History proves that NO Husband had ever loved his First Wife too much.
.
This is only for information,
.
Don't try at Home... ๐Ÿ˜œ

Bahubali Special !

MBBS 1st year viva examination
Subject- forensic medicine
Examinar- tell me the definition of death.
Student-๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ
Examiner-what is death??
Student-๐Ÿ˜ฃ๐Ÿ˜ฃ
Examiner- mrityu....kya he mrityu?
Student-
Hamare aatmbal se shatru ka bal jyada he ye sochana he mrityu
Ran bhumi me shatru se bhaybhit hokar jivit rehna he mrityu
Jis nich ne meri maa ka apman kiya
Us ka sir katkar maa k charano me arpit kiye bina use pith dikhakr bhagna he mrityu
Us mrityu ko Marne ja rahu me
Us ki chati chirkar ye kehne ja rahu me...JAI MAHISHMATI๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘‘
๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

New Exam Pattern

New exam pattern
1. OBC
Who is actor in movie bahubali?
2. SC
Did you watch bahubali?
3. ST
Which part of bahubali released recently. Part 1 or part 2
4. General:
Why kattapa killed bahubali?
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

5 Things American and Indian Movies Teach us

5 things American movies teach us:

1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practicing kung fu.
๐Ÿ˜‚
2. More than 50% of US population are FBI/CIA agents working undercover.
๐Ÿ˜‚
3. The purpose of schools of US is to promote basketball/Baseball.
๐Ÿ˜‚
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking US.
๐Ÿ˜‚
5. US is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires.
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ
.
.
.
.
.
5 Things Indian movies teach us:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ˜‚
2. While defusing a bomb don't worry, whichever wire u cut... U always choose the right one.
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚
3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; But will show pain when a girl cleans up his wounds.
๐Ÿ˜‚
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

*The most hillarious*

5. If u decide to start dancing on the street everyone you meet will know the steps..
๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚

Management lessons from Sholay Movie

Gabaar was an astute management guru as is reflected in some of the timeless management lessons he delivered thru the movie Sholay
1. Jo darr gaya samjho mar gaya ... Courage and enterprise are important factors for laying the successful foundation of a growth oriented business
2. Kitne admi the ... Its important to know the competition and its size ..he understood that even a small team can make a difference
3. Arey o sambha kitna inam rakhe hai sarkar hum par ...promoting one's own brand very important and to Be reiterated always
4. 6 goli aur aadmi 3 ... Create an illusion where his people had a chance of survival ..he kills them in the next scene ...
moral - perform or perish
5. Le ab goli kha ... Sometimes in the interest of the organisation u have to take hard decisions .... So sometimes have to 'fire' some employees
6. Jab tak tere pair chalenge uski saans chalegi ...classic carrot and stick approach ...tere pair ruke toh yeh bandook chalegi !!
7 . Yeh ramgadh waale apni beti ko kaun chaki ka aata khilate hai re ...market research is important to understand value propositions !!
Good Morning!๐Ÿ˜‰

A couple loved each other

There was a couple who had thier relationship since 5 years.
They loved each other a lot. The girl was beautiful and the boy was faithful.
One day, the girl came to the boy and showed her new pink eye lenses.
Withing a moment the boy fainted and fell on the floor.
The girl rushed him to the hospital. Special team of doctors started operating the boy. After waiting for 37 hours, the girl met the doctor. The doctor said,
"We have found alcohol in your friend's heart."
The girl got shocked and said, "But he never ever had a drink in his life, how can this be possible?"
Doctor, "Even we are going to research on it. You go to your home now, you can visit him tomorrow."
The girl hired a taxi and started thinking about the incident. Then suddenly she heard the song playing in the taxi:
Gulabi aanken jo teri dekhi,
Sharabi yeh dil ho gaya.
Kya hai na whatsapp free hai, toh logo ko kuch bhi bhejo bohot interest se padhte hai 
Send it to your friends and unko bhi pareshan karo 
Ekdum Fresh Hai, Abhi Nikala hai....

Bollywood Whatsapp Group

Bollywood's Whats App Group ...
Akshay- Hi everyone !!
Shahid- Hi over acting ki dukaan ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Akshay- ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Saif- ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Kareena- Hi Saifu.. Love u ๐Ÿ˜˜
* shahid left group *
Bipasha- haha.. bichara.. how r u friends ? ๐Ÿ˜Š
John- hey m fine .. miss u .. how's u ? ๐Ÿ˜˜
* Bipasha left group *
Akshay- a 're yaar bahot boring ho raha hai ๐Ÿ˜’
Ajay- Kyun ? Tees maar khan dekhi kya ? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Akshay- Nahi.. Teri Himmatwala dekhi ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก
* Ajay was removed from group *
Ashwariya- Nice to meet u all.. Thanks for adding in this group ๐Ÿ˜Š
Salman- Miss toh humne bhi bahot kiya aapko ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜ฃ
Ashwariya- Hi.. who are u ?
Salman- ๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท๐Ÿ˜ท
Akshay- kya Sallu bhai.. bahot emotional ho rahe ho ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
* Ashwariya left group *
Salman- ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฐ
Vivek- kon hai Tu ? Kyun ro raha hai ?  ๐Ÿ˜ 
Salman- mujh par ek ehsaan karna ke mujh par koi ehsaan mat karna ๐Ÿ˜ก
* Vivek lefts group *
Amitabh- hahaha... a 're Akki hamare zamane ke actors hai ki nahi is group mein ? ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‡
Akshay- Haan hai na... Rekha ji hai
* Amitabh left group *
Chunky- Bas karo yaar.. sab group Kyun chodd rahe hai ? ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
Saif- chunky ko kaun add kiya ? ๐Ÿ˜ก
Chunky- ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
Salman- ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
Govinda- Aap sabko Govinda ka namaskar ๐Ÿ™
Shakti kapoor- Aau mere Raja babu.. aapko bhi namaskar ๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‡
* Shakti kapoor was removed from group *
Shahrukh- Kyun nikala usko group se ๐Ÿ˜‚
Akshay- Sorry.. galti se add huva... Vulgar members not allowed ๐Ÿ˜
Salman- Shahrukh ko Kyun add kiya ? ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก
Shahrukh- Tera kya ja raha hai ? ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก
Salman- sahi se reh nahi toh maar khayega ๐Ÿ‘Š
Shahrukh- Jyada natak mat kar ๐Ÿ˜ก
Akki- Ladai bandh karo varna dono ko group se bahar nikal dunga ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜ก
Suniel- Akki bhai Hera Pheri 3 ki shooting Kab shuru hogi ? ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
Akki- Tuje liya hai kya film mein ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜‚
Suniel- ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก
Hritik- Hi Anna... Aaj Kal filmon mein dikhai nahi dete.. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Suniel- jabse Krissh dekhi hai filmon mein kaam karne ka mann nahi karta. ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ˜ก
Madhuri- Hello Friends.. Meri Gulabi Gang film aa rahi hai.. zarur dekna ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
Juhi- yes friends zarur dekna.. main bhi hun ๐Ÿ‘
Alia bhatt- Ha ha .. koi nahi dekega ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ
Raveena- Akki ... bachchiyon ko Kyun add kiya group mein ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
Sunny leone- only adults allowed ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹
Saif- oye Sunny Leone bhi hai kya ? ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜š๐Ÿ˜—
* Kareena left group *
* Sunny Leone was removed from group *
* Sunny deol added in group *
Akki- Hi Dhai kilo wale haath ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช
Sunny deol- Action hero se mazak ?
Suniel- main hun action hero ๐Ÿ˜ 
Akki- main hun ๐Ÿ˜ก
Salman- Action ka dusra naam Salman khan ๐Ÿ˜‰
John- I am Action hero ๐Ÿ˜ƒ
Rajnikant- Munna.. jhund mein toh suvar aate hai... sher akela aata hai ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿฏ
John- kaun Tu ?
Rajnikant- Yenna raskala .. mind it
Sunny- kaun hai yeh Akki ?? Bata na. ๐Ÿ˜ฐ
Akki- Rajnikant sir ๐Ÿ˜Ž
* Sunny deol left group *
* Hritik left group *
* John left group *
* Saif left group *
* Salman left group *
* Shahrukh lebft grop *

Hindi Songs and their Medical Meanings

Hindi Songs & their Medical Meanings:-
Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale..
Fever
Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi..
Heart Attack
Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge..
Constipation
Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai..
Acidity
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon..
Cataract
Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna..
Alzheimer?s
Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole..
Vertigo
Tip-Tip Barsa Pani, Pani Ne Aag Lagayi..
Urinary Infection
Dil Dhadak-Dhadak Ke Keh Raha Hai..
Hypertension
Aaj Kal Paaon Zameen Par Nahi Padte Mere..
Corn On Feet
Haay-Re-Haay Neend Nahi Aaye..
Insomnia
Batana Bhi Nahi Aata, Chupana Bhi Nahi Aata..
Piles
And Sabse Mast
Lagi Aaj Saawan Ki Phir Wo Zadi Hai..
Loose Motion
Hasso Mat, jaldi Share karo..
Beemari purani hain, Joke naya hai