The healing kiss

The healing kiss

A lovely dovey couple are sitting on a bench in the park and
she says,
"My ear huts me..."

He kisses it gently and asks,
"Is it better now, my darling?"

"It's all gone,"
giggles the girl,
"but now I have a pain here."
and she points to her cheek.

The boy kisses it tenderly and asks,
"Better now, sweet pea?"

"It's all healed, my love!
But now I have a very bad pain here."
she replies and points to her neck.

"Excuse me,"
politely interrupts an old man from a neighboring bench,
"This is really impressive!
Do you heal hemorrhoids as well?"

A man and a woman having romantic dinner

😅 🙋🏻‍♂️
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.

They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.

The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table but the man stared straight ahead.

The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."

Man replied: "Naah.. She just arrived in the restaurant..!" 😂😂🤣

Difference between Wife and Girlfriend

Difference between Wife and Girlfriend

A grandson, notices his grandpa looked rather tense so to break the ice, he asks his grandpa one question while on the way back from school....

What is the difference between 'Wife' and 'Girlfriend?'

Grandpa thought for a minute and Simplified the explanation like this ;

Listen Son ,

Wife is like a TV and Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home  you watch TV,
but when you go out you take your MOBILE.

Sometimes you enjoy TV, but most of the time, you play with your MOBILE!!!

TV is (as good as) free for life, but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy, replaceable and portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable
but for the MOBILE, it is often high and demanding.

TV has a remote
but MOBILE doesn't.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen), but with the TV, you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)!😝

Last but not least!
Yet TVs are superior because TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILES often do😂

And mobiles can be easily hacked or stolen.

Take Care
Stick to TV only
Issued in Public interest!
😃😂😄

Anil and Sunil both are in love with Geeta

Anil & Sunil both are in love with Geeta and want to marry her.

She is confused.

She goes to an astrologer, asks:
"Anil and Sunil are both in love with me, please tell me who will be the lucky one?"

Astrologer:
"Anil will be the Lucky One.

Sunil will marry you ... "🤣😂😅😀😀😀😀
🙏🏻

First meeting after online affair !

First Meeting after online affair !

Girl : Umm... your profile said you have lots of dark, wavy hair.
Boy : Oh, I do. Its on my Back.

😂😂😂

Love at Second Sight !

Girl : Dad, I'm in love...
It's love at second sight

Dad : What’s Love at second sight ?

Girl : When I first saw him,
he was buying Manikchand Gutkha!

& when I saw him again,
he was spitting it out of his Lamborghini.... 😂

Boyfriend Girlfriend and her Dad

चुटकुला तो इसको कहते हैं~
एक लड़की अपने  पिता के साथ ''बरामदे'' में बैठी थी तभी वहां उसका ''बॉयफ्रेंड'' आ गया !
लड़की अपने बॉयफ्रेंड से -- क्या आप ''रामपाल  यादव'' की बुक dad is home लाये हो ?
बॉयफ्रेंड -- नहीं मैं तो ''कीमती आनंद'' की where should i wait for u किताब लेने आया हूँ !
लड़की -- नहीं मेरे पास तो ''प्रेम बाजपेयी'' की under the mango tree है !
बॉयफ्रेंड -- ठीक है तुम आते समय ''आनंद बक्शी'' की call u in five mnt लेती आना !
लड़की -- ok मैं ''जॉन इब्राहिम'' की I wont let u down जरूर लेती आउंगी !
लड़का लड़की के पिता के ''चरण स्पर्श'' करके चला जाता है ! लड़की का पिताभी दोनों की बातों को ध्यान से सुन रहा था -----
बोला -- बेटी ये लड़का इतनी ''ढ़ेर सारी'' किताबे पढ़ कैसे लेता है ?
लड़की -- पिता जी ये हमारी क्लास का सबसे समझदार और intelligent लड़का है !
बाप -- तो बेटी इसको कहना एक बार ''मुंशी प्रेमचन्द'' की old men are not stupid भी पढ़ ले ! .....
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣

Girl to BF

Girl to BF- Mere papa
k samne to bde
se bde log bhi katori
lekar khde rhte
h ....
..
Boy (khush hoke) -
Achaa.. 😮 kon h
tumare papa.,.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
.
.
.
Girl- PANIPURI wale.....

Roger buying an expensive bracelet

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

Lets go for a dinner tonight.

Girl :- Lets go for a dinner tonight.
Boy (IT guy) :- Ok.
Girl :- But where will you take me?
Boy :- We will go to Mint Food (an economic restaurant).
Girl :- No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place)
Boy :- *silence for a minute* Ok, See you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.
Boy picks up girl at 7, On the way...
Boy :- Once I had pani puri (a.k.a. gol-gappa, an indian street food) competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puris and defeated me.
Girl :- What's so difficult in it?
Boy :- Defeating me in Pani-puri eating competition is difficult.
Girl :- I can easily beat you.
Boy :- Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Girl :- Let us have that competition right now.
Boy :- So you want to see yourself defeated?
Girl :- Let's see.
They both stop at a Pani-puri stall. They start eating. After about 30 Pani-puri the boy gave up. The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "You lose."
The bill was 120rs
'The main aim of IT person is to satisfy customer with minimum investments '😂😂😂😂😁😉
Winning attitude with less investment, ensuring strong ROI. Thats the IT

Girl Watching Movie

Boy : Hi

Girl : Hi

Boy : What r u doing ?

Girl : I am watching movie.

Boy : Which movie ?

Girl : Kanjurmarg 2

Boy : Which movie is this ?

Girl : It is new ghost movie maybe u r not familiar with english movies ( U gavthi )

Boy : Oye its conjuring 2

😂😂😂

A Girl ran away from home with her Boy friend

A Girl ran away from home with her Boy friend. whole family was Depressed when Suddenly She came back after 3 Days.

Dad: Just get out!!!. Don't say anything

Mom: Already you killed us. Now why you came here?

Brother: Why are you irritating us? Just get out.

Everyone just melted listening to her reply.

Girl: " I want Nokia charger ( chota wala pin).."
😂😂😂😭😭😅
Moral: Nokia will give three days battery backup !

Anushka aur Virat Kohli Jokes

कोहली ऐसे खेल रहा है ,जैसे इसका ब्रेक अप ऑस्ट्रेलिया वालों ने ही करवाया था 😂😂
--------------------
Dhoni ne virat k kaan me kya kaha?????
.
.
Anushka pandya se chat kr rhi h
😂😂😂😂💥💥🎊🎊🎉💥💥🎊🎊🎊💥🎉🎊
--------------------
डेविड वार्नर :- कोहली ने पूरी मेहनत पर पानी फेर दिया 😂😂😂

धोनी :- वो तो होना ही था ! क्योंकि मैंने उसको बोला था कि आस्ट्रेलिया के
बॉलर अनुष्का पर लाईन मारते हैं । 😀😀😀😀

डेविड वार्नर :- मम्मी 😰😰😰😭😭
--------------------
युवराज जाते हुए धोनी को बता गया
कोहली के कान में बार बार
अनुष्का
कहते रहना।
😛😛😛😛
--------------------
❌❌❌ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़❌❌❌
वेस्ट इंडीज़ टीम अनुष्का शर्मा के घर पहुंची और पैरों पे गिरके निवेदन किया की भाभी सेमि फ़ाइनल देखने ज़रूर आना
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
--------------------
DHONI: bhai VIRAT, 2-3 match se bada accha khel raha hai..!!?🤔👌🏻👏🏻 , baat kya hai??? 😉😉
.
.
.
VIRAT: bhai ANUSHKA ka favourite color green tha...!!😅😅😤😂😂
.
DHONI(thinking):

Pakistan- GREEN dress
Bangladesh- GREEN dress
Australia- GREEN dress
😂😂😂💪🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻
--------------------
कोहली ऐसे खेल रहा है ,जैसे इसका ब्रेक अप ऑस्ट्रेलिया वालों ने ही करवाया था 😂😂

Girl : Let's go for a dinner tonight

Girl : Let's go for a dinner tonight.
Boy(An Engineer) : Ok.
Girl : But where will you take me.
Boy : Should we go to mint food ( an economic restaurant )?
Girl : No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place).
Boy : Silent for a minute Ok, see you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.
Boy pick up girl at 7, on the way...
Boy : Once I had pani-puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puri's and defeated me.
Girl : What so difficult's in it?
Boy : Defeating me in pani-puri competition is difficult.
Girl : I can easily beat you.
Boy : Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Girl : Lets see.
They both stop at a pani-puri stall.They start eating,
After above 30 pani-puri the boy gave up.
The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "you lose".
The bill was Rs.120
The main aim of an engineer is to satisfy customers with minimum requirements.
😂😂😂😜😜😭😭

What is the Difference between Wife & Girlfriend

👍👍
Hilarious.
What is the Difference between Wife & Girlfriend
Great Thought in Modified Version-
Wife is like a TV &
Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.
At home u watch TV, but when u go out u take ur MOBILE.
Sometimes u enjoy TV, but most of the time u play with ur MOBILE.
TV is free for life,
but for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.
TV is big, bulky & most of the time old.!
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy & very portable.
Operational costs for TV is often acceptable, but for the MOBILE it is often high & demanding.
TV has a remote, MOBILE doesn't.
Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (u talk & listen) but
with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not)😝
Last! TVs don't have viruses, but MOBILEs often do...
Take Care.
Issued in Public interest!😃

Tum par bhi Devi mata aati hai ?

Boyfriend : Tum par bhi devi mata aati hai, kabhi bataya nahi tumne.
Girlfriend : Whattttttt?
Boyfriend : Teri Profile Photo dekhi meine bikhre baalo waali.
Girlfriend : Kaminey selfie li thi naha ke...

3 boys propose 1 girl

तीन लड़को ने एक साथ एक
लड़की को Propose किया
पहला :" मैं तुम्हारे लिए अपनी जान दे सकता हूँ..
लड़की :" वो तो सब कहते हैं...
दूसरा :" मैं तुम्हारे लिए चाँद तारे तोड़सकता हूँ...
लड़की -:" पुराना Dailouge है
तीसरा -:" मैं तुम्हारी ACTIVA में रोज 1 लीटर पेट्रोल डलवाऊंगा
लड़की (आँखों में आँसू के साथ ) -: पागल इतना चाहता है
😛😛😛

GF ke saath hamesha

GF: बेबी?
BF: या डिअर 
GF: तुम हमेशा से मेरे साथ थे, जब मेरा वो भयानक एक्सीडेंट हुआ तब भी,
जब मेरे पाचवे सेमेस्टर में 3 सब्जेक्ट में जीरो आए थे तब भी,
जब मुझे किडनी में पथरी हुई थी तब भी, और
जब मुझे पापा ने गुस्से में घर से निकाल दिया था तब भी.. 
BF: Aaawww love you baby और में हमेशा तुम्हारे साथ रहूँगा
GF: अरे नई रे मेरे को लग रहा है की शायद तू ही पनोती है 


Love at Second Sight

Girl: I fell in love with him at second sight.
Friend: Never heard of love at second sight?
Girl: At first sight, he was crossing the road and on the second sight, he got into his Audi! 😜😀😂

GirlFriend had a Dream Last Night

Girlfriend : "Last night I had a dream of you."
.
.
Boyfriend (got excited): -
"Maine kya kiya tumhare sapne mein aa ke"
.
.
Girlfriend replied : "We were traveling in bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
.
.
Everyone swam to save their life,
but you were still swimming and searching for someone."
.
.
Boyfriend (with love): "I was searching for you, na?
.
.
Girlfriend said: NO, You were shouting -
"Arrey, conductor kidhar gaya, 2 rupaye lene the"