Foresight of the Prime Minister

Foresight:

A prime minister in one country visited a kindergarten and asked them: How much is the budget for a child's food per month?

They told him: $ 400.

He told them: This is a lot .. They reduced it to 300 dollars!

Then he visited the prison and asked them: How much is the prisoner's food budget per month?

They said: $ 400.

He told them: This is a too little .. Increase it to 1000 dollars!

An accompanying minister asked him: Why did you reduce the food of kindergarten children and increase the prisoners' food?

He said: Do you think that after leaving the Govt we will go to kindergarten?

Pearls of wisdom

Politicians are always Politicians

😀Politicians are always Politicians 😀

Classic example of honest politician..
😎😎
A Businessman went to see a politician to get his work done.
He said "Sir, we want to present you a Brand new car in lieu of the approval for our work"...

Minister : No .... No ... No.... I don't want to get it free.
I want to give some money for this car .....

Businessman after high persuasion agreed and said okay sir ! Please give one rupee.

The minister did not have change and gave two rupee coin.

Businessman jokingly said : sorry sir, I have no change of one rupee to return ...

Minister : No problem.....
You give me another car for my wife....

Leftists vs Rightist

Leftists vs Rightist

I asked my friend's son what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said he wanted to be the Prime Minister some day.

Both of his parents, liberal leftists, were there, so I asked him, 'If you were the Prime Minister, what would be the first thing you would do?'

He replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

His parents beamed with pride.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told him. 'But you don't have to wait until you become the PM to do that. Come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull out the weeds and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you Rs.500. Then, I'll take you over to the grocery store where a homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the 500 Rupee note for food and new set of clothes .'

He thought that over for a few seconds, then he looked me straight in the eyes and said, 'Uncle, why can’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him Rs.500?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Rightist fold.'

His parents still aren't speaking to me. 😂🤐🤢😷

Politicians are illiterate

Politicians are illiterate

It was in 1950, Mr. Edward a retired seasoned politician gave a very long speech on corruption, political, and economic conditions prevalent in the country. He ended his speech and blamed that 50% politicians are illiterate ”.

The next day there were headlines in all the newspapers prominently displaying that 50% politicians are illiterate. Says Mr. Edward.

This created quite a furore among the politicians and furiously demanded instant apology from Mr. Edward and asked him to take back his words.

After two days there was a short message in all the newspapers from Mr. Edward saying: “I take back my words and apologise that 50% politicians are NOT illiterate”.

Politicians were very happy that they made Mr. Edward to apologise and he was forced to take back his words.

Calling an Honourable Minister a pig

Calling an Honourable Minister a pig

Worth a Read !

A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig:
It was his first offence and the Judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy.
So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.

The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent Judge profusely. ''Thank you, your lordship."
He continued. "Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry."

"It's okay." Said the Judge. "You may go."

"My lord, may I ask a question, sir?"

"Feel free." Answered the Judge.

"Now I know it's wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig, but is it also wrong to call a pig Honourable Minister?"

Amused, the Judge replied. "I don't know why you would want to address a pig as Minister. But I don't think the pig would mind. Anyway, it's not unlawful by the way. Yes, you may call any pig Honourable Minister."

The man smiled and nodded, then he turned to look pointedly at the Minister and said. "Goodbye, Honourable Minister!" 😂

Classic example of honest politician

Classic example of honest politician..
😎😎
A Businessman went to see a politician to get his work done.
He said "Sir, we want to present you a Brand new car in lieu of the approval for our work"...
Minister: No. No. No.... I don't want to get it free. I want to give some money for this car.....
Businessman after high persuasion agreed and said okay sir! Please give one rupee.
The minister did not have change and gave two rupee coin.
Businessman jokingly said: Sorry sir. I have no change of one rupee to return ...
Minister: No problem.
You give me another car for my wife....🤭🤣

How GOD created Universe

✍✍
God was in the process of creating the universe. And he was explaining to his subordinates:

'Look everything should be in balance. For example, after every 10 deer there should be a lion.

Look here my fellow angels....

Here is the country of the United States . I have blessed them with prosperity and money. But at the same time I have given them insecurity & tension....

And here is Africa . I have given them beautiful nature. But at the same time, I have given them climatic extremes.

And here is South America . I have given them lots of forests. But at the same time, I have given them lesser Land so that they would have to cut off the forests...

So you see fellows, everything should be in balance.

One of the angels asked... 'God, what is this extremely beautiful country here?'

God said........ 'Ahah...that is the crown piece of all.

' INDIA ', My   precious creation. It has understanding & friendly people, Sparkling streams and serene mountains. A culture which speaks of the great tradition that they live. Technologically brilliant , and with a heart of gold.....

The angel was quite surprised:

 But God you said everything should be in balance.'

God replied -- 'Look, I have given them........ *"Politicians"*

Election Special ! Must Read ! True !

Sreedhar Uncle came out after casting his vote from the polling booth.

He asked the polling agent, Did my wife come to cast her vote ??

The agent looked at the list and said Yes! She was here sometime back.

Mr. Sreedhar became sad and said, I wish I was here a bit early. I would have met her.

The agent was surprised and asked him, doesn't aunty stay with you anymore???

" No! She passed away 15 yrs ago. But I have seen that she comes to cast her vote whenever there is an election"😜

Share this smile with others !!

Height of blaming Modi !

Height of blaming Modi!!!

एक महिला सब्जी खरीदने सब्जी वाले के पास गयी।

उसने फूल गोभी ली और पूछा- "भैया आजकल सब्जी में वो स्वाद ही नहीं रहता, आप खराब सब्जी ला रहे हो"

सब्जी वाला- "क्या करूं मैडम, जबसे मोदीजी ने खेतों में शौच पे रोक लगाई है तबसे सब्जियों में टेस्ट ही नहीं आ रहा है।"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👻👻🙈🙈😝😝

Everyone donates for a good cause !

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped the entire politicians , and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.
Otherwise, they're going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, collecting donations".

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks...

The man replies, "Roughly 2 liters."

Narendra Modi was crying in private

Narendra Modi was crying in private. From nowhere Mahatma Gandhi appeared.

Asked him the reason for his sorry state of affairs.

Modi crying nonstop , confessed that all these new age Modi's are spoiling his Surname.

Mahatma was unperturbed. Said Look at me my dear child,

Am I crying ?
😜🤣😜🤣

Santas e-banking password

Santa's e-banking password was:
"ram-sita-laxman-hanuman-ravan-delhi-rahulgandhi"

Banta: Yaar! Itna lamba password?
Santa: Kya karoon. Bank wale kehte hai ki password main 5 character aur 1 capital hona chahie....
Banta: wo sab thik hai, par Rahul baba kyun ??
Santa: Ek special character bhi zaroori hai....😉😁😜😛😄

When will the economy improve ?

Yesterday, our honourable finance minister said,
"It will take another two to three quarters for the economy to improve."

So I bought 2 quarters last night.
After all, it's my duty also, towards the nation.

Woke up in the morning; but nothing had changed!

Will Try again tonight with 3 quarters..... Let's see
🥃🥃🥃😅😂😂😂

The Barber, The Minister and the Swiss bank

While cutting hair, the official Barber asked Minister
‘’What’s this Swiss Bank issue?”

Minister shouted,
“R u cutting hair or conducting an inquiry?”

Barber: Sorry Sir, I just asked.

Next day, while cutting hair, he asked Top Minister:
“Sir, what’s this Black money issue?’’

Minister shouted, ‘’Why did u ask me this question?’’

Barber: ‘’Sorry Sir, just asked u’’

Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber,

‘’Are u an agent of Pak?’’

Barber: No Sir.

CBI: R u an agent of Anna Hazare ?

Barber: No Sir.

CBI:

Then, while cutting the hair, why did u ask these VIP's about Swiss Bank &
Black money issues?

Barber:

Sir, I do not know why, but when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, their hairs stand up straight; & that helps me to cut hair easily; that’s why I keep asking.
😆😆😁😁😄😄😸

Rahul Gandhi went to Doon School on Teachers Day

Rahul Gandhi went to Doon School on Teachers Day to meet his teachers and wish them.
He said,
"Today I am what I am, because of you all".
Pin drop silence....

Then Principal Mr Ramchandani got emotional:
"You can't really blame us, we did our best.🤣

The Pope and Trump are on Stage

The Pope and Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.



The Pope leaned towards Mr. Trump and said,
"Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoince!"

Trump replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!"

So the Pope slapped him.

Looking for a Job

A British doctor says: "In Britain, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for a job."

The German doctor says: "That's nothing,
in Germany we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for a job."

The Russian doctor says: "Gentlemen, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for a job."

The American doctor laughs: "You are all behind us. A few days ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and no liver and made him President.

Now, the whole country is looking for a job!"

Parents are confused about future of their kids

Now Parents are confused about future of their kids...

Whether to send Kids to sell Tea
and become like Modi...
Or
Send them to IIT and
become like Kejriwal...
Or
Go Abroad and
do nothing to become like Rahul Gandhi..

!!! Hard Decision !!!

Or
Send him to Haridwar
to get holy enlightenment
and become someone like Ramdev Baba
Or
spiritual Baba having annual income over Crores
Or
Send him to JNU to become * KANHAIYA*
Or
leave him for getting result of ......
just 9th fail and
become deputy CM like Tejaswi Yadav
Or
Go sell alcohol take a loan like Mallya and fly to London

Very very
confusing
Tough decision......

😇😇😅😂😂

Innocence at its best

Innocence at its best...

A small boy parks his bicycle near the Parliament house and walks on...

A police constable stops him and asks: Why did you park your bicycle here? Don't you know about this road? Many MPs, sometimes CMs, even President and cabinet ministers and politicians pass from here...

The boy replied innocently: Dont worry,I have locked my bicycle. 😬😛😛😎😎

Guy and Women who had married 6 Times

There was this guy who had married 6 times, but each of his wives had died soon after the marriages.
He wanted to marry a seventh time.....
But there was no women willing, because of his reputation.
Finally one woman came forward.....
She too had married 6 times and each of her husbands had died soon after the marriages.
People were curious to know what would happen when these two got married to each other.
The wedding took place and the very next day.......
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To know the remaining story, give me change for Rs.2000/-
😂😂😂😂😂