Showing posts with label Trending. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trending. Show all posts

The mystery of the book in a glass box

The mystery of the book in a glass box

A man walks into a bookstore and sees a particular notebook behind a counter that’s locked in a glass box:

He asks the cashier what book that is and the cashier says he doesn't know and needs to get confirmation from the manager.

Moments later, a tall, slender man with pale skin walks up to him claiming to be the manager. He tells the man that the book is actually a sacred relic which was uncovered during an expedition of some old ruins and that it is priced at £1000 so as to purposely ward off potential buyers.

The man insists wants to buy the book although the manager warns him otherwise.

At last, he agrees to sell him the book, but he warns the man of a curse that will befall him if the last page of the book were to ever be opened.

The man agrees and pays the £1000 then leaves with the book.

When he got home, he decides to leave the book opened on the table of his apartment while he goes and washes up.

When he is done, he sees the pages of the book turning towards the end at a fast speed, and he realised he had forgotten to close the windows.
He rushed over to the book in an attempt to close it, but it was too late. When the book flipped to the last page, he saw a sight that shocked him!

'Fixed price: £3' ๐Ÿคฃ

Wife is out for a few days.. how to make tea ?

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Rajesh took a selfie with a pressure cooker on the stove.
Put it on Facebook with a query...
'Wife is out for a few days, how to make tea and how many cooker whistles?'

He got many helpful replies..
Venku: Cooker comes with one whistle, why do you want more whistles?

Ramu: What a buffoon! You don't need a cooker to make tea, take a kadai.

Chethu: Soak tea leaves in water for two hours, add milk and boil. One whistle is enough.

Sunny: Whistle? Your head. Go near the window and whistle. Neighbour's wife might offer you one tea.

Siddu: Wife is out and you want tea? Are you out of your mind. Get soda and whisky, then whistle, I'll come.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Adam ate the apple again !

This is ribs cracking. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

A woman and a man were involved in car accident.
It was a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.
Both of their cars were badly damaged but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of ... cars, the woman says;
“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she handed the bottle over to the man.
The man nodded his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."
(drunk driver's offence)

Adam ate the apple again !
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Men will NEVER learn !
Women will Never change!!!
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€
Don't laugh alone. Kindly put a smile on someone else's face.

By mistake his Phone rang in Church

By mistake his Phone rang in Church during prayers...
The Priest scolded him ...
After prayers, the congregation admonished him for interrupting the silence.
His wife lectured him on his carelessness until they got home.
One could see the shame, embarrassment n humiliation on his face !!
He has never stepped into the Church ever again.
That evening, he went to a bar ...
He was still nervous n unsure.
By mistake he spilled his drink on the table.
The waiter apologized, gave him a napkin to clean himself up.
The janitor mopped the floor.
The female manager offered him a complimentary drink.
The bar girl gave him a hug n said,
"Don't worry man. Who doesn't make mistakes ?"
_He has never stopped going to that bar since then_
Management Lesson"
_"You can make a difference by the way you treat people,_
_especially when they make mistakes !!."_
Stay Happy....
๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question

Lawyers should never ask a Texas grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Texas small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded,
'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,
'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied,
'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.....๐Ÿค 

Men will never learn. Women will never change.

This is ribs cracking๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
A woman and a man were involved in car accident.
It was a bad one, caused by the woman's reckless driving.
Both of their cars were badly damaged but amazingly neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of ... cars, the woman says;
“So, you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!
The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely damaged, but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she handed the bottle over to the man.
The man nodded his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then handed it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and handed it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
She replies, "Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police to come and collect their evidence."
(drunk driver's offense)
Adam ate the apple again !
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
Men will NEVER learn !
Women will Never change!!!
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

ATM Card Issue

ATM card issue.
Santa talking to himself what the hell why my ATM card is not working on this ATM I must call Bank's Helpline number.
Then called the bank.

Bank manager: Hello welcome to your cash bank,how can I help you?

Santa : oh I am Santa calling from Ludhiana what's wrong with my ATM card,the ATM machine is rejecting my ATM card Everytime I insert my ATM card into it.Your bank has worst ATM machines.

Manager : just wait a minute Sir let me check it.sir I have checked your account everything is fine and you should be able to use your card.Are you sure your card is not damaged or broken.

Santa : Are you mad no one can take care of their ATM card as I do.

Manager : OK sir are you sure that the card surface surface isn't wet or rough

Santa : Are you mad or you out of your mind I take very good care of my card.As a matter of fact I even got it laminated last week when I laminated my identity card.

Manager : Sir did you just said laminate?

Santa : Oh of course yes laminate.

Bank Manager Still recovering from Shock ! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

Apple CEO Tim Cook's schedule in Mumbai

This was Apple CEO Tim Cook's schedule in Mumbai :
4.45 am - Visit to Siddhivinayak Temple
6am - Meeting with the Ambanis in Antilia
1pm - Meeting with Cyrus Mistry - Head of Tata Group
4pm - Meeting with Altafbhai in Kurla to understand how the iPhone can be unlocked for Rs. 150/-
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜

One Liners about India

If you want to know how divided we are, just look at matrimonial page of our newspaper!

India is running the software of tomorrow on the hardware of yesterday.

If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child, if child gets spoiled blame the mobile.

If someone asks for dirty cloth to clean something you are in India.

The only country where people fight to be termed 'Backward'.

In India, you don't cast your vote, you vote your caste.

An incredible country where actors are playing cricket, cricketers are playing politics, politicians are watching porn and porn stars are becoming actors!- vicious circle indeed.

Sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it.

And where liking a Facebook post and sending messages on WhatsApp gets you arrested, while raping does not.

Twist in the tale

Twist in the tale 

Girl : Hi !

Boy : Hi !!!

Girl : what hap?

Boy : nothing.

Girl : no say what hap...u r soo sad

Boy : I will ask u something..u shld say the truth..will u?

Girl : ok ask

Boy :  who is Rajesh loafer?.. He liked all your profile pictures and even your status updates in FB. who is the dumb idiot?

Girl : Pls dont say anything about him... :|

Boy: ohh r u in love with him..? :|

Girl : why should i love him as you are here for me...

Boy : Then brother kind of relationship?

Girl : No no...not like that...

Boy : Dont irritate me then who is he?...

Girl : shall we talk something else

Boy : So you are hiding me something...?...you have that much close relationship with him...he s so much important to u ryt?

Girl : If i disclose the secret definitely u will scold me...

Boy : hey idiot tell me..dont test my tolerance..

Girl : Pls ya...

Boy : if u dont tell me i will break our relationship ryt now...

Girl : i will tell u...Then u shd not scold me ok??

Boy : oh ok...รฐลธ˜¢

Girl : Hmmm.
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That is my fake profile...if no one likes my dp i will like my pic through that login id and also myself post comments like cute,nice,hot,etc!!!!!
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Apple Iphone 6 jokes

This is the Best one for today - 
When u fall down and your iPhone6 is in your pocket and u hear a crack,
u'll just be thinking
"Lord pls let that be my leg" ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜›
Congratulations... iphone 6 launched..
The best feature of iPhone 6 is that if you hold it upside down it becomes iPhone 9
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

iPhone users who've been saying "I love my small iPhone, Android phones are too big for me" all these years.... Apple just orphaned you...!!
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
Gujjus will not be affected by iPhone 6 launch...
They will continue to flash their iPhone 4S and say
"iPhone Chhe".
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
With the launch of iPhone 6, OLX is more excited than Apple....
as people will sell old phones, car, house etc to buy iPhone.
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
Apple is Chinese, all iPhones look d same.
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
Dear Apple,
iPhone-6 Will Be Priced At 70k...
iPhone-9 Ke Saath Kya Nano Free Milegi ...??
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›

iPhone's Are Like The Golmaal Movie
Every New Version Has The Same Features... But Is
Longer Than The Previous One..!!
๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜›
iPhone6 costs more than the total money Harman Baweja
earned from his Bollywood career...!!
๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†