Showing posts with label Engineer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Engineer. Show all posts

Two engineering students oral viva test

Two engineering students are waiting to give their oral viva test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside
External ๐Ÿ˜Œ:-  Suppose you are traveling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?
Student๐Ÿ˜Œ:- I will open the window.
External ๐Ÿคช:- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is1.5 sq.m and the volume of the compartment is 12 m3, the train is traveling at 80 km/hr in a Westerly direction and the speed of the wind is 5 m/s from the South, then how much time will  it take for the compartment to get cold?
The student can't answer, so he is marked fail and he comes out. After coming out he tells that question to the second student.
The second student goes in and his viva starts.
External ๐Ÿ˜Š:- Suppose you are traveling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?
2nd Student ๐Ÿ˜Œ:- I will remove my coat.
External ๐Ÿคจ:- It still is hot, then what?
Student๐Ÿ˜Œ:- I will remove my shirt.
External (angrily) ๐Ÿ˜ค:- If it still is hot, then what will you do?
Student๐Ÿ˜Œ:- I will remove my pant.
External (Fuming) ๐Ÿ˜ก:- And what if you die due to the heat?
Student:- I WILL RATHER DIE BUT I WILL NEVER OPEN THE WINDOW.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Engineers from online Classes

Morning ๐ŸŒž
Two engineering students were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole", said one, "But we don't have a ladder."
The woman said, "Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox."
She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down. She then took the measuring tape from their toolbox, took the measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches" and walked away.
The second engineer shook his head and laughed and said - Dum Lady , We needed the height and she gave us the length!
Both the engineers are from online classes.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Girl : Let's go for a dinner tonight

Girl : Let's go for a dinner tonight.
Boy(An Engineer) : Ok.
Girl : But where will you take me.
Boy : Should we go to mint food ( an economic restaurant )?
Girl : No. That's a very cheap place. Let's go to Tomato's (A brutally costly place).
Boy : Silent for a minute Ok, see you at 7. I will pick you up from your place.
Boy pick up girl at 7, on the way...
Boy : Once I had pani-puri competition with my sister and she ate 30 pani-puri's and defeated me.
Girl : What so difficult's in it?
Boy : Defeating me in pani-puri competition is difficult.
Girl : I can easily beat you.
Boy : Please leave it. It's not your cup of tea.
Girl : Lets see.
They both stop at a pani-puri stall.They start eating,
After above 30 pani-puri the boy gave up.
The girl was also full, but to defeat her boyfriend, she ate one more and shouted, "you lose".
The bill was Rs.120
The main aim of an engineer is to satisfy customers with minimum requirements.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Pakka Engineer

PAKKA engineer:
External  examiner: to an engineering student :
Why does a capacitor stops DC but allows AC to pass through?
Student :
Sir, capacitor is like this
---| |---
DC comes straight like this
------
& the capacitor stops it.
But AC Goes UP-DOWN-UP-DOWN like this
   . --- .
.'          '.
----||-----------||------.
               '.          .'
                  ' --- '
and jumps over the capacitor!
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜…
External Examiner : After 30 years of experience.. today I understood the concept of capacitor ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

IT Special : 2 Friends were Chatting

IT Special:
2 friends were chatting....
Friend: Bhai need ur support... She is online n said "I love you"... Kya karu?

IT Engineer Frnd: Bhai... Sabse pehle screen shot lele
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

Pythagorean Theorem to Solve Problems of life

I am still using Pythagorean theorem of 30-60-90 to solve most difficult problems of life.



Only difference is, 'degrees' have been replaced by 'ml'.๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜„

Unemployed Engineer Graduate

An unemployed engineer graduate๐Ÿ‘ฆ was looking out for a suitable job in his stream.
He attended several exams and many personal interviews, only to be rejected.
.
.
.
.
Being fed up after so many months of his
job hunt, he decided to get into any job that
can satisfy his food and daily needs.
.
.
.
.
.
He visited a
circus group and asked for a job.
But the owner
said that there wasn't any job for his education
level. Also he said that there is a vacancy to
act
as a monkey๐Ÿ™‰ and perform funny actions. The
unemployed youth accepted the offer since he
can
at least afford his daily food.
.
.
.
.
.
So he dressed up as a monkey๐Ÿ™ˆ and entertained
the
audience. One day while he was performing the
monkey๐Ÿ’ skills, he accidentally fell into the
lion's๐Ÿ†
ring.
.
.
.
.
Everyone was shocked as the monkey๐Ÿ’ fell into
lion's ring. No one knew that he was a man๐Ÿ‘ฆ
dressed up as a monkey๐Ÿ’.
The man himself was
dreadful and feared for his life.
He felt pity for
himself as he going to be a victim of
unemployment.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The lion๐Ÿ† came closer to him but didn't attack.
He
was surprised. The lion๐Ÿ† whispered,
"Abe
Gupta.....ghabra mat...!! Main hun tera senior, Vinod
Sharma.... 2010 batch... computer science.."
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

A Girl Enters in Engineering 3rd Sem Exam

A Girl Enters in Engineering 3rd Sem Exam.
When She Sits She Realises that She Forgot to Bring Her Pen...

A Little Cute girl Comes to Her and Says..
"Mummy Take Your Pen"

All the Guys in the Exam Hall..
"Ha!!!.. Mummy...??"











Moral:- Its not the Effect of Santoor....

Its Because of "Maths-3"

๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Installing Husband

Awesome one
INSTALLING HUSBAND
A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I Upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a Distinct Slowdown in the overall System Performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery Applications, which Operated Flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 Uninstalled another Valuable Program, Romance 9.5 and then Installed undesirable Programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1
What can I do ?
Reply:-
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter Command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to Download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the Applications Jewellery 3.0 and Flowers 3.5
However, remember, Overuse of the above Application can cause Husband 1.0 to Default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.
Also DO NOT disturb the original Package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new Virus Girlfriend 2.5 will automatically be Downloaded into your System.
So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to Re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are Unsupported Applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.
We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Cute Looks 7.7
Good Luck Madam.


Engineer ne Clinic khola

เคเค• เค‡ंเคœिเคจिเคฏเคฐ เค•ो เคœॉเคฌ เคจเคนी เคฎिเคฒी
เคคो เค‰เคธเคจे เค•्เคฒिเคจिเค• เค–ोเคฒा เค”เคฐ เคฌाเคนเคฐ เคฒिเค–ा
เคคीเคจ เคธौ เคฐूเคชเคฏे เคฎे เคˆเคฒाเคœ เค•เคฐเคตाเคฏे
เคˆเคฒाเคœ เคจเคนी เคนुเค† เคคो เคเค• เคนเคœाเคฐ เคฐूเคชเคฏे เคตाเคชिเคธ....
เคเค• เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ เคจे เคธोเคšा เค•ि เคเค• เคนเคœाเคฐ เคฐूเคชเคฏे เค•เคฎाเคจे เค•ा เค…เคš्เค›ा เคฎौเค•ा เคนै
เคตो เค•्เคฒिเคจिเค• เคชเคฐ เค—เคฏा
เค”เคฐ เคฌोเคฒा
เคฎुเคे เค•िเคธी เคญी เคšीเคœ เค•ा เคธ्เคตाเคฆ เคจเคนी เค†เคคा เคนै
เค‡ंเคœिเคจिเคฏเคฐ : เคฌॉเค•्เคธ เคจं.เฅจเฅจ เคธे เคฆเคตा เคจिเค•ाเคฒो เค”เคฐ เฅฉ เคฌूँเคฆ เคชिเคฒाเค“
เคจเคฐ्เคธ เคจे เคชिเคฒा เคฆी
เคฎเคฐीเคœ(เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ) : เคฏे เคคो เคชेเคŸ्เคฐोเคฒ เคนै
เค‡ंเคœिเคจिเคฏเคฐ : เคฎुเคฌाเคฐเค• เคนो เค†เคชเค•ो เคŸेเคธ्เคŸ เคฎเคนเคธूเคธ เคนो เค—เคฏा
เคฒाเค“ เคคीเคจ เคธौ เคฐूเคชเคฏे
เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ เค•ो เค—ुเคธ्เคธा เค† เค—เคฏा
เค•ुเค› เคฆिเคจ เคฌाเคฆ เคซिเคฐ เคตाเคชिเคธ เค—เคฏा
เคชुเคฐाเคจे เคชैเคธे เคตเคธूเคฒเคจे
เคฎเคฐीเคœ(เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ) :เคธाเคนเคฌ เคฎेเคฐी เคฏाเคฆเคฆाเคธ्เคค เค•เคฎเคœोเคฐ เคนो เค—เคˆ เคนै
เค‡ंเคœिเคจिเคฏเคฐ : เคฌॉเค•्เคธ เคจं. เฅจเฅจ เคธे เคฆเคตा เคจिเค•ाเคฒो เค”เคฐ เฅฉ เคฌूँเคฆ เคชिเคฒाเค“
เคฎเคฐीเคœ (เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ) : เคฒेเค•िเคจ เคตो เคฆเคตा เคคो เคœुเคฌाเคจ เค•ी เคŸेเคธ्เคŸ เค•े เคฒिเค เคนै
เค‡ंเคœिเคจिเคฏเคฐ : เคฏे เคฒो เคคुเคฎ्เคนाเคฐी เคฏाเคฆเคฆाเคธ्เคค เคญी เคตाเคชเคธ เค† เค—เคˆ
เคฒाเค“ เคคीเคจ เคธौ เคฐुเคชเค।
เค‡เคธ เคฌाเคฐ เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ เค—ुเคธ्เคธे เคฎें เค—เคฏा
เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ-เคฎेเคฐी เคจเคœเคฐ เค•เคฎ เคนो เค—เคˆ เคนै
เค‡ंเคœीเคจिเคฏเคฐ- เค‡เคธเค•ी เคฆเคตाเคˆ เคฎेเคฐे เคชाเคธ เคจเคนीं เคนै। เคฒो เคเค• เคนเคœाเคฐ เคฐुเคชเคฏे।
เคกॉเค•्เคŸเคฐ-เคฏเคน เคคो เคชांเคš เคธौ เค•ा เคจोเคŸ เคนै।
เค‡ंเคœीเคจिเคฏเคฐ- เค† เค—เคˆ เคจเคœเคฐ। เคฒा เคคीเคจ เคธौ เคฐुเคชเคฏे।๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„