A Story with a moral at the end

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The Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff. But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?'

''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about my Mom. She was a marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was
a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets,
killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
.
Pin drop silence in the class !!
.
''Good Heavens,' said
the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?

"Stay away from Mommy when
she's drunk.."

Height of blaming Modi !

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Height of blaming Modi!!!

एक महिला सब्जी खरीदने सब्जी वाले के पास गयी।

उसने फूल गोभी ली और पूछा- "भैया आजकल सब्जी में वो स्वाद ही नहीं रहता, आप खराब सब्जी ला रहे हो"

सब्जी वाला- "क्या करूं मैडम, जबसे मोदीजी ने खेतों में शौच पे रोक लगाई है तबसे सब्जियों में टेस्ट ही नहीं आ रहा है।"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👻👻🙈🙈😝😝

A 70 year old retired Military officer had one hobby

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CLASSIC

A 70 year old retired Military officer  had one hobby - he loved to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, ''Pick me up. '

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The retd officer said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

The retired offr looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'
I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,

'Nah. I'd rather have a talking frog than a nagging wife..

With age - comes wisdom!😄😂

How to calculate age

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Officer: Madam I need to complete this form...
what is your husbands age, n what is your age?
Lady: when we got married my husband was 25n I was only 18
Now he is 50 yrs old that is double....so accordingly I am 36...🤨🤔🤗
The officer is still calculating🤣

Why do the girls begin their quest to change men after marriage?

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A newly married Alan goes to meet Father George.

He greets the priest and says, 'Father, I need to talk to you.'

The Priest asks, 'Is it a confession, my son?'

Alan replies, 'No, Father! I need to clarify something.'

The Priest takes Alan to his private chamber and says, 'Tell me, Alan.  What is it?'

Alan asks, 'Father, why do the kindest of girls begin their quest to change men after marriage?'

The Priest smiles and replied, 'Alan, my son; as the bride walks down the long aisle, her brain registers 3 stimulii. The altar, the choir and the sound of the hymn being sung. Aisle, altar, and hymn. She becomes mesmerized. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. Aisle, altar, hymn. And finally, as she stops beside the groom, she is already saying to herself
I'LL ALTER HIM.'
😇😇😇😇😇😇😇

Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation

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🤔When I was in school, I used to ask a lot of questions....!!😃
One Day I asked Ms. Doris, our English teacher:"
Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation. eg the letter....'H'.......in Hour, Honest, Honor..... e.t.c.........???"

Ms. Doris: "We are not ignoring them; they are considered silent." ...!!
(I was even more confused.....😏🙅😱😵....??)

During the lunch break, MS. Doris gave me her packed lunch & asked me to heat it in the cafeteria.

I ate all the food and returned her an empty container....!!😏

Ms. Doris:---- "What happened, I told you to go and HEAT my food & you are returning me an empty container??"

Me: --- "Madam I thought 'H' was silent"
😳😋🤣😆😇

A UAE Malayali went to a dentist

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A UAE Malayali went to a dentist for tooth extraction and first enquired about cost. Dentist said 1200 dirhams , the Malayali thought it was too much.

After some thought, he asked about cheaper methods.

The dentist said, Yes, it can be done without anesthesia and will cost only 300dirhams, but it would  be very very painful.

Malayali said OK Dr, do it without anesthesia.

The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia  and during the entire procedure the Malayali sat  quietly, even smiling a little.

The dentist was not only surprised, but was quite impressed and said
I have never seen such a brave patient like you. I don't even want my fees, instead, take this 500 as a reward, you've taught me such a powerful lesson today about mastering one's pain and feelings !!!

In the evening he met his fellow dentists and told everyone about his amazing Malayali patient.

Out of all doctors, one doctor jumped up and shouted 😤 that Malayali first came to me, I gave him anesthesia and asked him to wait outside for half an hour ! After half an hour when I called him he had left !!!!

😂🤑🤣😛😝😜🤣🤑😂