Banta knows everyone

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Banta was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Banta how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Banta and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Banta! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"

Although impressed, Banta's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Banta that he thinks Banta is knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Banta says.

"President Trump," his boss quickly retorts.

"Yes," Banta says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington."

At the White House, Trump spots Banta on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Banta, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and have a cup of coffee first."

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House, he expresses his doubts to Banta, who again implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Banta. "My folks are from Poland, and I have known the pope a long time."

So they fly to Rome. Banta and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Banta says, "This will never work. I cannot catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I will come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Banta emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Banta returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss side, Banta asks him, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, Who is that on the balcony with Banta?"

Two blind pilots

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An airliner is fully boarded and ready to push-off from the gate, when two blind pilots enter the main cabin.
The pilots both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a guide dog and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport.
As it begins to look as though the plane will plough in to the water, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die."
I can't stop laughing am just imagining the scene 😂😂

A signboard outside a restaurant

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😎 😎 😎
A signboard outside a restaurant read : "Eat as much as you can, your grand children will pay the Bill".
A man entered the restaurant and ate as much as he could, got a toothpick and was relaxing.
The waiter gave him the bill.
He laughed and pointed to the signboard, don't you see, "only my grandchildren will pay" !
The waiter politely replied, "Sir, This is not your bill, it's your grandfather's Bill"...
The man fainted ...
Ideas are many to make Money.
Don't laugh alone ... 🍵🍴🍧 pass it.