Fair Cream vs Shoe Polish

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Ek Bhut hi kala aadmi dukan pe gaya

Wo itna kala tha ki koyla bhi sharma jaye

aur bola –

Bhaiya gora hone ki cream hai kya ?

Dukandar – nahi hai

Aadmi – accha to juta polish hi de de

kam se kam chehre pe chamak to banni rahegi 🙂 😉

Three women go to Mexico

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Three women go to Mexico to celebrate their college graduation.

They get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to discover that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words.
She says: "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.."

They throw the switch and nothing happens.

They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Illinois School of Law, and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent."

They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The last one, a blonde (you knew it), is strapped in and says: "Well, I'm from Ohio and just graduated from Ohio State University with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

First Line Romantic Second line Opposite

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GOA RADIO ORGANISED
COMPETITION  FOR POEMS, IN WHICH
THE FIRST LINE MUST BE ROMANTIC,
BUT THE SECOND LINE SHOULD BE THE OPPOSITE.

This was the winning entry sent by Joao Caitan :

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you messed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I love your smile, your face and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amazing rhyme?
A bottle of Feni, little Salt n Lime !

What do you want to buy Sir

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Shopkeeper : "What do you want to buy Sir?"

Customer : "I want self confidence & the courage to face the world & the strength to take life head on and the stamina to bear the brunt of this cruel world...."

Shopkeeper: "Chotu, isko ek quarter Old Monk aur ek Chana Dal ka packet de...!!!"

🤣🤣🤣👍👍👆👌👌

Its hard to be a teacher at times

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IT'S HARD TO BE A TEACHER AT TIMES...

Teacher: ''Construct a sentence using the word "sugar''
Pupil: ''I drank tea this morning.''
Teacher: ''Where is the word sugar.''
Pupil: ''It is already in the tea..!!''

😂😂😂😂😂😂
TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.

TEACHER : What is photosynthesis class?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.

Not Easy to be a Teacher !!!!!

TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...

TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...

TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...

TEACHER : How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home...

TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense...

THE STRUGGLE CONTINUES
😬😬😬

Don't stop the fun. Pass it on. Thank you.

In case of an emergency, speak only in English

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In case of an emergency, speak only in English.

Never say prayers in any other language.

You never know what kind of translation problem u can run into.

Sharma in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home,
his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics:
'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying, 'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Newly Married Bahu

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Fantastic One.
Newly married bahu is avoiding the kitchen.
Sensing her hesitation, mom-in-law exhorts her:
Go, beti. Prepare whatever you are best at.
After some clinks and clatter,
the bahu calls from the kitchen:
Mummyji, you prefer yours with soda or water...???