First Line Romantic Second line Opposite

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This was the winning entry sent by Joao Caitan :

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you messed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming,
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I love your smile, your face and your eyes,
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My feelings for you, no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amazing rhyme?
A bottle of Feni, little Salt n Lime !

What do you want to buy Sir

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Shopkeeper : "What do you want to buy Sir?"

Customer : "I want self confidence & the courage to face the world & the strength to take life head on and the stamina to bear the brunt of this cruel world...."

Shopkeeper: "Chotu, isko ek quarter Old Monk aur ek Chana Dal ka packet de...!!!"


Its hard to be a teacher at times

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Teacher: ''Construct a sentence using the word "sugar''
Pupil: ''I drank tea this morning.''
Teacher: ''Where is the word sugar.''
Pupil: ''It is already in the tea..!!''

TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.

TEACHER : What is photosynthesis class?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.

Not Easy to be a Teacher !!!!!

TEACHER : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...

TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...

TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...

TEACHER : How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home...

TEACHER : One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense...


Don't stop the fun. Pass it on. Thank you.

In case of an emergency, speak only in English

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In case of an emergency, speak only in English.

Never say prayers in any other language.

You never know what kind of translation problem u can run into.

Sharma in the US suffered a heart attack on the road and was picked up by an ambulance.

Being religious, he kept repeating - Hari Om, Hari Om, Hari Om.

When the ambulance pulled into his home,
his wife came out and screamed to the paramedics:
'Why didn't you take him straight to the hospital?'

They replied "Because he kept saying, 'Hurry home Hurry home Hurry home!'

Newly Married Bahu

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Fantastic One.
Newly married bahu is avoiding the kitchen.
Sensing her hesitation, mom-in-law exhorts her:
Go, beti. Prepare whatever you are best at.
After some clinks and clatter,
the bahu calls from the kitchen:
Mummyji, you prefer yours with soda or water...???

Celebrity Marriages

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When we were young, beautiful actresses like Sridevi were marrying old guys like Bonny Kapoor 🙄

Now when we are growing old, beautiful actresses like Priyanka Chopra are marrying young men like Nick Jonas 😭

Saala samajh nahi aa raha galti kahan ho gayi‼🙈

Ants wants a place to stay

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🐜An ant knocked on the door of a house.

The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

"I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant 🐜and requested the
owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a 3rd 🐜ant and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the 🐜ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the *10th* ant 🐜and requested the owner
to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said,
"OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."

*Now the question is:*

Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?












Because they were now *tenants!*

PS: I am also looking for the guy who sent me this!