You dropped your purse !

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😊😀😁
I saw a woman drop her purse in the street this morning, so I quickly followed her.
As I was just about to tap her on the shoulder she started running for a bus.
So I ran after her shouting, "You dropped your purse! You dropped your purse!"
She didn't hear me and proceeded to get onto the bus, so I got on the bus too.
As I walked to the back of the bus I breathlessly said,
"You dropped your purse on the street outside McDonald's."...
"Thank you so much" she said, "Where is it?"
I said, "I just told you, on the floor outside McDonald's."

Please read Instructions Carefully !

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😂😃😂
A man was shocked to see his beautiful divorced neighbor knocking on his door one Friday evening.
"I'm feeling so lonely that I can't stand it." she said.
"I want to go out, get drunk & want to enjoy my life. Are you free tonight?"
"Yes!" he replied enthusiastically.
"Wonderful." she said.
"Then please take care of my kids...😄😃

Moral : Please read instructions carefully before saying yes!
All free items come with terms and conditions..."
😜😝😂

You are in a Helicopter

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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

God decides to visit earth and try some alcohol

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One day God decided to visit the earth & try some alcohol.

So he changed his dress & went to a bar and asked the bartender :- What all do you have..?? Bartender :- We have Whisky, Rum, Vodka, Gin, Beer etc etc.
God :- Let's try Whisky first. Give me 5 bottles of whisky. After having 5 bottles of Whisky, God decided to try Rum.

Bartender was shocked, who is this man..?? After having 5 bottles of Whisky, he is still on his feet. After having 5 bottles of Rum, God decided to have beer. After having 40 bottles of beer, he asked the bartender for Gin. Bartender couldn't stop himself asking him :- Sir, who are you..?? I've seen people getting drunk after having 4 glasses of whisky and you've almost had 50 bottles and you are still on your feet!!
Who are you..??

God :- Hum Bhagwaan hain!

Bartender :- Ab Chadi Isko!! 😂😂

One day at school

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😂😂
One day at school....

Teacher: Shinde, answer me. What do you wanna be when you grow up.

Shinde : Teacher, I wish to become a very rich man. My business should be in all major cities. I should buy a big bungalow. I will always travel by air. Wherever I go into should stay in 5 star hotels. There should be minimum 10 servants to take care of my needs. I should own the costliest car. I should have the costliest diamond.

Teacher: Stop Shinde. Students, henceforth you should not give such lengthy answer. Please reply in a sentence. Ok. Now you tell me Pooja. What do you want to be?

Pooja: Shinde's wife ....

😂💃🏻🏃😂

Story of "Behind every successful man there's a woman"

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During a company's annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand... the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond... and swim to the shore.
Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million... but if killed by the crocs...2 million will be given to the next of kin.
For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge... then suddenly a man jumped in...and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs...and luckily he made it unscathed.
When he managed to recover his breath... the man, who became instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond..... it was his wife who did it.!!!
And from that day...that was how the phrase... "Behind every successful man...there's a woman"...came about !!!😜🤣

How many cats does Johnny have ?

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Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven.”

Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Six.”

Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”

Johnny: “Seven!”

Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”

Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a cat!”