10 best jokes that need to be retold as 2020 draws to a close

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10 best jokes that need to be retold as 2020 draws to a close ...😂😆😜
1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
2. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
3. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
4. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came to my house & told my dog.... We had a good laugh.
5. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
7. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
8. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
9. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.
10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller with a mask on and ask for money.

A good 30 laughs at Dilbert's one liners:

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🤣🤣🤣
A good 30 laughs at Dilbert's one liners:
1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time.
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train..
7. Born free, taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them.
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers.
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

Some Laughter in these times

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Some Laughter in these times

꧁• If you see me leaving this group, please add me again. It's just that I’m so desperate to go out!
꧁• Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined myself entering a bank, wearing a mask, and asking for money.
꧁• Never thought my hands would one day consume more alcohol than my liver...ever!
꧁• Quarantine seems like a Netflix series: just when you think it's over, they release the next season.
꧁• Those complaining 2020 didn’t have enough holidays, what now?!
꧁• I’m not planning on adding 2020 to my age. I didn’t even use it!
꧁• We want to publicly apologize to the year 2019 for all the bad things we said about it.
꧁• To all the ladies who were praying for their husbands to spend more time with them, how are you doing?
꧁• My washing machine only accepts pyjamas these days. I put in a pair of jeans and a message popped up : “Stay Home " 😀