Why Ladies Hate Doctors

Why Ladies Hate Doctors

Before giving Anesthesia Doctor asked Lady: " Whats Your Age Madam? "
Lady : 24 years!

Doctor : Madam are you sure this is correct age? Because the amount of Anesthesia will depend up on your age.
Lady : 30 years!

Doctor : Look Madam.. it's upto u. Lesser amount of Anesthesia could wake u up during operation and u could go into comma as well.
Lady : 38..

Doctor : ( Once again..) Look Madam.. if u are not gonna tell me ur real age then wrong amount of Anesthesia will directly affect your livers and they may fail as well.

Lady , screamed and said : "49! That's it, I am not gonna change my age any further even though my dead body comes out of the operation Theater."
😝😝😀😀🤣

Two well dressed ladies at Brisbane Airport Terminal

Two well dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an
endless wait in Brisbane Airport Terminal.

The first lady was an arrogant Victorian married to a wealthy business
Man.
The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from Mount Isa, Queensland.
After a little while the Victorian woman started by saying, "When my first
child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me."

The lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful gold Mercedes-Benz."

Again, the lady from Mount Isa commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman went on, ............
"Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet."

Yet again, the Mount Isa lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"

The first woman then asked , "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?"

My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Mount Isa lady.

"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my Lord! What could they teach you??"

The Mount Isa lady responded, "Well as an example... ...
Instead of saying, "Who gives a fu*k?", I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious?"

Ladkiyon ki Selfie ka raaz

क्या जमाना आ गया है ?
.
लड़कियां कपड़ों के शो रूम में जाती हैं
ड्रेस पसंद करती हैं
चेंजिंग रूम में जाकर पहनती हैं
वहीँ से सेल्फ़ी खींचकर
फेसबुक पर अपलोड करती हैं।
ड्रेस वापिस उतारती हैं।
.
"पसंद नहीं आई" कह कर
चलती बनती हैं।
.
.
.
और सारा दिन
उनकी उसी सेल्फ़ी पर कमेंट आ
रहे होते हैं
.
"वाओ डिअर नाइस ड्रेस"
.
और बदले में रिप्लाई होता है
.
"थैंक यू थैंक यू ये ड्रेस मेरी बुआ ने लन्दन से
भेजीं है"
घोर कलयुग
😆😆😆😆😝😝😝😝😂😂😂

Two ladies were fighting in a bus

Two ladies were fighting in a bus for a seat.
Intelligent Conductor:  The older one can sit...
Ladies looked at each other....
Seat remained empty..
😝😝😝

How Man and Woman withdraw Cash from ATM

🎩How a man withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car
2) Go to ATM
3) Insert card
4) Enter PIN
5) Take money
6) Drive away
------------------------
👒How a woman withdraws cash from the ATM:
1) Park the car🚕
2) Check makeup💄
3) Turn off engine🅾
4) Check makeup💅💄
5) Go to ATM🏧
6) Hunt for ATM card in the purse👛
7) Insert card💳
8) Hit cancel❌
9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it📃
10) Insert card💳
11) Enter PIN🔢
12) Take cash💵
13) Go to car🚕
14) Check makeup💄
15) Start car🈯
16) Stop car🅾
17) Run bck 2 ATM🙆
18) Take ATM card💳
19) Back 2 car🚕
20) Check makeup💅
21) Start car🚕
22) Check makeup💄
23) Drive for a mile💨
24)Release HAND BRAKE..😛

😂😝😝😝😜
Dont laugh alone pass it on.....👹👹

Some ladies were Sitting in a Park

Some Ladies were Sitting in a Park every day. One Man was observing them daily as they were Talking and Laughing Loudly.
One day He observed everybody was silent . There must be some Serious issue or Incidents Happened .
So He went to one Lady and ask,  Why everybody is Silent Today?
The Lady replied:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
All Are Present Today...........😳
Man took Few Seconds to Understand this....
😨😨😱😱😜😜😝😝

Honeymoon Package !

Honeymoon Package!

Woman goes to travel agent and says, "Honeymoon Ka Sasta Package Hai koi?"

Agent says, "Ji Mam, 50k mein 3N/4D in Bangkok including flight hotel and food."

Woman replies, "Aur Koi Sasta??"

Agent says, "Kashmir 3N/4D all inclusive 35k."

Woman goes, "Isse Bhi koi Sasta?"

Agent replies, "Ji Madam, Ek Special Offer Hai - 10N/11D in London and Paris via Milan, stay in honeymoon suite and complementary chauffeured car. Package is completely free!!!"

Woman is overjoyed and immediately tells him, "Awww my god!!! Yeh Toh incredible offer Hai, Zaroor Kuchh Catch Hoga?"

Agent says, "Koi catch Nahi Madam, Bas Husband Hamari Taraf Se Hota Hai!!!"

Salesman died on the spot

A girl went to electronics shop with anger & threw her new laptop on d desk at person from whom she bought. She told that u have cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop...
Salesman: Madam, can u pls try in front of me?
Now this is what she did:
1)Right clicked d mouse on d file, selected COPY option.
2) Disconnected d mouse.
3)Took that mouse carefully & connected to d new laptop.
4)Right clicked d mouse & selected PASTE option.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Salesman DIED on the spot!!!
ANOTHER IIN STUDENT...

A Girl went to electronics shop with anger

A girl went to electronics shop with anger and threw her new laptop on d desk at person from whom she bought. She told that u have cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop...Salesman: Madam, can u pls try in front of me?
Now this is what she did:
1)Right clicked d mouse on d file, selected COPY option.
2) Disconnected d mouse.
3)Took that mouse carefully & connected to d new laptop.
4)Right clicked d mouse & selected PASTE option.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Salesman DIED on the spot!!!
ANOTHER   IIN STUDENT...

A lady is driving on the Expressway

This one is killer. 😂😂😂
A lady is driving for the 1st time on an expressway.
Her husband calls on her mobile & says: "Be careful my love. It's just been on the radio, that some one is driving opposite to the traffic on the expressway.."
She replies: "Someone......?? These rascals are in hundreds.!!! 😝😝😂

Steve Jobs created I-Wife

Steve Jobs (Apple owner ) is now working with God to create an
"i-wife"
which will have a Slim design, beauty with brains, obedient, less demanding, less of materialistic cravings, willingness to do household chores, less irritating and most important, comes with a MUTE button. 😷
Bookings full till 2080.
Till then kindly bear with ur own versions...!!

Seven Complicated Facts about Women

Seven complicated facts about Women:
1. They believe in saving.
2. Believe in saving but buy expensive clothes.
3. Buy expensive clothes but never have anything to wear.
4. Never have anything to wear, but always dressed beautifully.
5. Always dressed beautifully, but never satisfied.
6. Never satisfied, but still expect men to compliment them.
7. Expect men to compliment, but don't believe them if complimented.

Extremely Complicated! 😋👏👍😜😜

MALE LOGIC

MALE LOGIC😎😋
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: Rs. 300 which includes a tip
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a beer costs Rs. 300 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at Rs. 27,000. In one year, it would be approximately Rs. 3,24,000 …correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend Rs. 3,24,000 , not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at Rs. 64,80,000 correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
..
Woman:
No
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

Women Jokes

Wife is angry 😡 as hubby stands too close to a beautiful girl in bus, a few seconds later the girl slaps him for pinching.
Hubby to wife:
I swear I didn't .
Wife: I know, I did it..
😛😝😂😂
Best joke ever about Ladies driving:
Doctor to injured patient:
Jab car ek lady chalaa rahi thi to tumhein road se dur chalnaa chaahiye tha.
.
.
.
.
.
Patient:
Kaun sa road?
Main to Garden mein letaa huaa tha.
😛😛😛😉😀
Some women are sooo concerned about their husband's happiness. ......
that they hire detectives to find out who is responsible for it....
😃😂😜😜
The  only 2 persons whom  a  woman  listens  carefully & follows  Sincerely & does EXACTLY as he says is a.... TAILOR & PHOTOGRAPHER.
Baki to woh kisi k baap ki bhi nahi sunti...
😀😛😊😀😃
Police asked the Thief: Why did u go to Steal 3 times in d Same Store?
The thief Replied:😒Sir, I Stole 1 Dress for my wife & went to Change It Twice!
😉😂😂😂
😖Women u know😞
This one is hilarious...
Husbund & Wife 1 plate me Pani Puri kha rahe the, 1 Dusre ki aankho me aankhe dal ke
Wife (pyar se) : Aaise kya dekh rahe ho💕💕💕💞
Husband : Thoda aaram se kha........ meri baari hi nahi aa rahi !!!!
😜😝😝

When Women in the city love you

When a woman loves you ,
you are a husband ...............
When many women love you ,
you are an actor ..............

When hundreds of women love you ,
you are an idol .............
When thousands of women love you ,
you are a leader ...........
But When all the women in the city love you,
Then you are a Best PaniPuri wala

A true Female Joke

Here is a joke I consider a true female joke.
I offer it to you in the hope that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it!
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.
This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $10.00.. on one condition..."
Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed $10 from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said....



"Clean my house."


Time taken to convince a Female

If u can convince a female in less than 5 minutes then she is ur mom.

If u can convince a female in  15 minutes then she is ur sister.

If u can convince a female in 30 minutes then she is ur daughter.

If u can convince a female in 1 hour then she is ur girl friend.

If u can convince a female in 3 hour then she is ur lover.

And ultimately

If u can't or don't  even get a chance to convince a female then she is ur wife...!!!


Perfect Boys-out Trip

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect boys-out trip.
Two days before the group is to leave, Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he is not going.
Rob's friends were very upset that he can't go, but what could they do?
Two days later, the three get to the camping site, only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'Guess who'?
I pulled her hands off and saw that she was wearing a brand new hot nightie. She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to cuff her and tie her to the bed. I did.
And then she said, 'Now you can do what ever you want.'
So here I am....!!!"
Moral: Never stop a man from meeting his friends!!!