A Punjabi Walking his dogs

A Punjabi Walking his dogs

A Punjabi was walking his two dogs.

A passer-by asked, "What are their names?"

The Punjabi replied, "Rolex and Omega.”

"Wow, I have never heard those names for dogs before,” the stranger said.

The Punjabi explained, "these are watchdogs.” 🤔

Logical Punjabis
😂

Heights of Revenge

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents
and we had to spend sleepless nights.
Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep,
one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn.".
He gets very irritated.
He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand.
He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby
and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja".
After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands.
So he goes near it and says
"Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

EMPLOYMENT?

EMPLOYMENT?
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column
Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes

A Sardar in Heaven

HEAVEN
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told
him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order
to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in
a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word

Are you a Sardar ?

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.

In London, a customer asked,
"Do you have "Sarso Da Tel?"

The shopkeeper says "are you a "Sardar"?

The guy, clearly offended, says,
"Yes I am...But let me ask you something.
If I had asked for Olive Oil, would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

If i had asked for halal meat..wud u ask me if I was Muslim?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?

The shopkeeper says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Sarso Da Tel, why did you ask if I am a Sardar?"

The shopkeeper replied,

"Because, this is a wine shop"


😂😂
Absolute Classic!!! :)

Holy Trip to Jerusalem by a Punjabi

After his Holy Trip to Jerusalem, Punjabi  was caught by customs for carrying liquor.

Customs:"Sir, what is in the bag?"

Punjabi : Holy water from Jerusalem."

Customs (after smelling & tasting): "Don't lie sir. Its wine.."

Punjabi :"O Jesus, One more miracle."😊

An old man was driving his Maruti

This is hilarious..
An Old man was driving his Maruti🚗, suddenly touched with 🚙 BMW.
4 sardars came out and started shouting. They were about to beat the Old Man.
The Old man said, "Aap log 4 ho, aur myself alone. Yeh toh nainsaafi huyi."
Eldest of the Sardaar told, "Gajender and paramjit, tum dono uncle ke side se ladho."
Old man said, "phir bhi hum log 3, aur aap 2."


Then Gajender came forward and says, "uncleji tusi ghar jaao, hum dekh lenge inko."
😂😂😂😂

Sardar Jokes - Read and Laugh out Loud

Read and laugh out loud 😂

Sugar Test 😆
Sardar enters the kitchen, opens the Sugar Box, looks inside and closes it. He does it again and again. Why? Because the doctor told him to check the Sugar Level regularly.

Sardars and Scooter 😛
Three Sardars were riding on a Scooter. Traffic policeman showed them his hand.
One of the Sardars told him: We are already three, sorry, there is no space to give you a lift.

Lion and Sardars 😜
Two Sardars were in a forest, when a lion came roaring towards them. One of them throws sand into its eyes and runs. Second one stays unmoved. When asked by the first Sardar why he is not running, he says: "Why should I be running? It is you who has thrown the sand."

Cyclone 😁
Bank manager asks Sardar in an interview: "What is a Cyclone?"
Sardar: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle."

Side Effects 😃
A Sardar brought some tablets and started cutting the edges. Do you know why?
He wanted to avoid the Side Effects!!

Advice 😀
A famous Sardar's declaration to the media: "I will never marry in my
life. And I will advise the same to my children too."

Oxygen 😄
Teacher: Oxygen is very essential to life. It was discovered in 1773.
Sardar: Thank God I was born after 1773. Had I been born earlier, I would have died.

Skeleton 😉
Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, a skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop!!!! 😝😝

Laugh for sometime in the busy schedule of your life to reduce stress. 😂😂

Santa Job ke liye Interview dene gaya

संता एक बार किसी कंपनी में जॉब के लिए इंटरव्यू देने गया

बंता सिंह (मेनेजर): आपकी शादी हो गयी?

संता: जी हाँ, एक लड़की से हुई

मेनेजर: शादी तो लड़की से ही होती है!!

संता: नहीं जी, मेरी बहिन की शादी तो लड़के से हुई है! 😀

1 Train ke Niche 100 Sardar aa gaye

एक ट्रेन के नीचे 100 सरदार आ गये !!
99 मर गए……. एक सरदार बच गया..
रिपोर्टर ने उससे पूछा : “ये सब कैसे हुआ.?”
सरदार बोला – “गलत अनाऊँसमेंट की वजह से,
अनाऊँसमेंट हुआ था कि शताब्दी एक्सप्रेस प्लेटफार्म पर आ रही है!”
तो सब घबराकर प्लेटफार्म से उतारकर पटरी पर आ गये! पर ट्रेन प्लेटफार्म पर नहीं, पटरी पर आई…..
रिपोर्टर: और आप समझदार निकले जो पटरी पर नहीं उतरे!!

सरदार: जी नहीं, मै तो सुसाइड करने आया था, अनाऊँसमेंट सुनकर मैं पटरी से हट कर प्लेटफारम पर लेट गया था”!!……

Sardar apni billi se tang aaya

😜 😳 😁 😜 😳 😁 😜 😳 😁 😜 😳 😁 😜 😳 😁 😜
सरदार अपनी बिल्ली से तंग आकर उसे दूर छोड़ आया......!
घर आया तो बिल्ली वापिस आ चुकी थी....!!
वो दूसरी बार छोड़ कर आया और बिल्ली फिर से वापिस आ गयी...!!!
अब तीसरी बार वो उसे बहुत दूर..जंगल में छोड़ने गया...!!!
वापिस आते समय, रास्ते में उसने अपनी बीबी को फ़ोन किया और पूछा:--
"बिल्ली घर आ गयी क्या..??"
बीबी:--- हाँ..आ गयी.....!!!!
सरदार:--- उस कमीनी को भेज यहाँ,..मैं रास्ता भूल गया हूँ......??
😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜

Punjab Roadways ki Bus ka Conductor

पंजाब रोडवेज की बस जा रही थी…!!!
कंडक्टर -: कहाँ जाना है…??
.
पाकिस्तानी -: अमृतसर जाना है…!!
.
साथ में बैठे भारतीय ने पाकिस्तानी को जोर
से थप्पड़ मारा
"तू श्री अमृतसर साहिब नही बोल सकता
क्या….???"
.
.
कंडक्टर (बंग्लादेसी se) -: तुम्हें कहाँ जाना
है…..???
.
बंग्लादेसी डर के मारे "श्री चण्डीगढ़
साहिब
जाना है….!!!"
.
भारतीय (थप्पड़ मार कर) -:
"क्या वहाँ तेरे बाप की शहीदी हुई
थी जो
साहिब लगा रहा है……????"
.
.
कंडक्टर (चीनी se) -: तुम्हें कहाँ जाना
है…????"
.
चीनी -: ये लो पैसे और पूछ इस भाई से
लो……!!!!!
.
कंडक्टर (थप्पड़ मार कर) बोला -: भाई के
साथ
"साहब" क्या तेरा बाप लगाएगा….!😉

Sardar ne Ghar ka Darwaza Ukhada

😁😂😝
सरदार ने घर का दरवाजा उखाड़ा और कंधे पर रखकर बाज़ार में चला गया।
एक भाई  ने पूछा, "सरदार जी , क्या आपने दरवाजा बेचना है?"
सरदार : नहीं ताला खुलवाना है, चाबी गुम हो गई है।
हंसो मत जोक अभी आगे है।
तो भाई ने सरदार से पूछा, "अगर घर में चोर घुस जाये तो?"
सरदार: अन्दर कैसे जायेगा, दरवाजा तो मेरे पास है।
😄😄😄😄😄😃😀😀

General Funny Jokes

Wife drinking Vodka,
asked
"Tum kaun ho?" 😮

Husband-
"Pagal ho gayi ho kya?
Apne husband ko bhool gayi? " 🚶

Wife: "Nasha 🍸
har gum bhula deta hai"
"Bhaisaab"..!!😜

😀😂😂😂
-------------------------------
 Teacher :
“Can you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :
“Smo-king & Drin-king ” !!!

Teacher Resigned !😂😂😇😇
-------------------------------
Ghor Kalyug😰

Teacher: Who was Akbar ? 
Boy: Akbar was Gay.

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that?

Boy:- We have heard  Laila - Majnu , Heer -Ranjha , Soni- Mahival ,Romeo-Juliet 
But Only
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died😂😂😂
-----------------------------
😂😍
Ultimate Hit!!
Train mai Warning likhi thi......." Bina Ticket Safar karne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!.. "
Sardar- Waah ji Waah..,
Aur humne ticket li to Hum Bewakoof???
😜😜😜😜😜

BABA Ramdev Kehte Hai, "Achhi Sehat K Liye Saas Par Control Kare"
Ab Baba Ko Kon Samajhaye Ki,
Logo Se Biwi Control Nahi Hoti To Saas Par kaise  Control Kare.
😛😛😛😛😛

Jethalal- aare daya, raat ko Mobile charging me mat rakho, Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa, Aap tension mat lijiye maine battery nikal di he.
😂😂😂😂😂

Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G.
Ans: It's Anil kapoor.! aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.
😁😁😁😁😁

Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho?
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli, hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.
😜😜😜😜😜

Shaadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai. Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye "Oye Mat Kha, Feeka hai"
😂😂😂😂😂

TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi !!!!!
😁😁😁😁😁

Girl:Nice mobile, Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race !
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME.
😄😄😄😄😄

Teacher: can you define who is a Lecturer?
Student: Lecturer is a person Who has a very bad habit of Speaking when someone is sleeping

Banta ki Tabiyat Bahut Kharab thi

Banta Ki Tabiyat Bahut Kharab Thi. Wo ICU Mein Bed Pe Leta Marne Wala Tha.

Usne Santa Ko Apne Paas Bulaya Aur Bola.

Banta: “Ye Le 1 Lakh Rupaye. Mere Marne Ke Baad Meri Kabar Par 1 Peg Whisky Roz Chidak Diyo.”

Santa: “Tu Bura Na Maane To Chidakne Se Pehle Us Whskey Ko Apni Kidney Se Filter Kar Du?” 😜

My grandfather lived for 96 years

This is called single point focus ...

Bengali :
My grandfather lived for
96 years & he never
used glasses...

Sardar:
Yes, I know,
some people in my family
also drink directly
from the bottle..

😜😜😝😝😝

1 Chinese 1 Gora aur 1 Sardar

1 Chinese 👷,
1 Gora 👨
aur
1 Sardar 👳
ship me ja rahe the..
Achanak 1 Jinn👲 aaya aur bola: "Samundar me koi cheez pheko, agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga, Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!!"
Chinese ne Sui phenki.
Jinn ne dhoond li aur use maar diya 😱..

Gore ne memory card pheka.
Jinn ne dhoond liya aur use bhi maar diya..😱

Sardar ne kuch phenka..
Gin ne bohot dhuna, dhund dhund ke thak gaya aur puchhne laga. "batao mere aaaka main haar gaya," 🙏
Sardar bola: "main bhi tera baap hu, maine "Disprin" ki goli fenki thi, Chal Beta, Ghar Chal
Bohot Kaam Pada He!!"
JINN Shocked 🙀&
Sardar ROCKED 😂😛
Bhejo market me naya he

Ultimate Jokes

👦Boy : Tum ladki hoke daaru piti ho? 🍺🍷🍹🍸

👧Awesome reply by girl :
To kya 2-4 peg ke liye

gender change karwalu
--------------------------------

Wife drinking Vodka,
asked
"Tum kaun ho?" 😮

Husband-
"Pagal ho gayi ho kya?
Apne husband ko bhool gayi? " 🚶

Wife: "Nasha 🍸
har gum bhula deta hai"

"Bhaisaab"..!!
-------------------------------------
Teacher :

“Can you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :

“Smo-king & Drin-king"

Teacher Resigned😇
Ghor Kalyug
-------------------------------------
Teacher: Who was Akbar ? 
Boy: Akbar was Gay.

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that?

Boy:- We have heard  Laila - Majnu , Heer -Ranjha , Soni- Mahival ,Romeo-Juliet 
But Only
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died
---------------------------------

Teacher : नाड़े ko english में kya kehte hai...???
.
.
.
.
Santa : P.H.D.
.
.
Teacher : Kya....???
.
.
Santa : Pyjaama Holding Device..
.
.
Teacher behosh..!

___________________

This 1 is a killer 1 .....

Teacher : Beta batao britannia tiger biscuit pe jo green dot h uska matlab kya h.?

Pappu : Iska matlab ki tiger online hai.

Ultimate Hit !!

Never mess with Kids

Biology Class:
Teacher:
Which Mammal flies in air but gives birth to young ones on land...???
Sardar was so excited, as for the 1st time he knew the Answer...!!!???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Sardar: AIRHOSTESS!!!

Never Mess with Kids :
A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane. The
man turned to him and said, "Let's talk".
Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?
Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?
Kid: Very interesting topic. But let me ask u a
question... Horse, cow & deer, all eat grass. Yet deer
excretes pellets, cow flat potty & horse clumps.
Why?
Man: I don't know.
Child: Do you really feel qualified enough to discuss
nuclear issues when you dont know shit.. 😃
Couldn't stop sharing this one...
😂😂

Sardarji meeting with Bill Gates

Sardarji went to US & had a
meeting with Bill Gates.
Bill: "I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me."
He takes him to a forest.. .
Bill: "Dig the ground."
Sardarji did it.
Bill: "More Mor­­e…More…"
Sardarji went upto 100 Feet..
Bill: "So now, try to search something."
Sardarji : "I got a Wire."
Bill: "You know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones..."
Sardarji became frustrated.He invited Bill to India.Next year Bill was in India..
Sardarji : "I want 2 show u our advancement."
The same, he takes Bill 2 a forest.
Sardarji : "Dig it."
Bill does.
Sardarji : "More.Mor­­e.More.
Bill goes upto almost 400 feet.
Sardarji :"Try 2 find sumthing.
Bill tries...
Sardarji :"Did you get anything?"
Bill: "No, there is nothing here."
Sardarji : "You know, it shows that even 400 years ago, we used to be WIRELESS !!"
Bill Gates Shocked😭
Sardar Rocked 😉!!
Bolo tararara!!!💃👯
Dont laugh alone... pass it on.....😀