On a Friday Evening, Husband Asks his wife

On a Friday evening, husband asks his wife:
Shall we have a nice weekend...
Wife: Sure...Sure  why not:-)
Husband: ok thanx... See U on Monday
Wife to Husband: "Shall we have Tandoori Chicken to celebrate our wedding anniversary?"
Husband:"Why punish the poor chicken for my mistake...?"
A man went to the marriage bureau to reserve wedding date...
Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office ...
"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... you may use this time to think again"
...  ... 
DARPOK Hai Wo log jo,
single hain..,Shaadi nahi Karte...
Saala Jigar chahiye,
BARBAAD Hone Ke Liye....